it has been approximately 246 hours since breaking up with s.
in that time, i have caught one cold, woken up in bed with my coat and shoes on twice, showered five times (this could be off), stared at the yellow pinwheel across the street twice, eaten honey and nut oatmeal crisp each day that i decided to eat breakfast....so...wait...um...yeah, probably seven times (with almond milk), and cried so much i caught said cold, once.
the pinwheel thing is weird, i know. but there's this yellow pinwheel on the balcony of the apartment directly across college street from us, and i don't really remember when i noticed it, but it was around the time i noticed my relationship was sinking too. and i took to staring at it with my morning coffee.
sometimes, it's purposeful. you can't always tell how cold it is, or how one should properly dress oneself by examining those on the street. some people are severely underdressed, and also- i find that i am generally prone to wear more layers than i actually need once i start trotting, because apartments tend to give a nudge towards being cozy. but the pinwheel, when windy, is a pretty good indicator.