silence the pianos and with muffled drum

today was too much not done. sometimes, these days find me.

at first i was punishing myself for being sad and not knowing why...or guessing why and being disappointed that i really hadn't moved as far forward as i like to think i have on a good day.

but i think, it was just sadness. 

female bodied person

so

i'm moving soon. which is pretty awesome. to a quaint little 2 bedroom house with my beefy man friend, mason. we have some pretty exciting things planned. like monogrammed towels. and matching bed frames and duvet covers. and a walmart portrait.

this is what i count on mason for - someone i know who will get as excited about stupid little things as me. which is great if you're like me and have any sort of tendency to slip into periods of melancholy. ohhhh the tragedddy of human exxiissstence.

ahem.

anyway, other fun things are coming up. like...oh! yes. i just got an email saying i was accepted to be in the york disability studies grad conference art show. its juried, so i guess that means my merit shall be judged. ha. i should pick some really obscure pieces. they'll probably mumble under their moustaches 'mmmhmmm. avant-garde somethingsomething'

oh art.

also. i had a ridiculous night. i feel like i say that a lot. but its true.

friday night. me. mascara. uxbridge. blues band. unnnh.

nuf said?

no. so i go out with my mom and her friends and they're ordering fancy red wines and i'm sampling (and by sampling i mean drinkin to save my life) and this band goes up. and ohhh man.. they were good. especially the dude on keys. who is wailing it. and throwing his foot on the upper octaves every five seconds - which was a multi-fold of hilarity since my mom was a foot (ha) away and was fearing for her life with each gusted limb toss and careening loafer.

but said musician was also grinnnnning at me. hardcore. seriously. i had to start texting to avoid his eyes. anyway. after their set he invites me out for a smoke. well actually no - says he WOULD invite me out but something about a girlfriend blah blah - at which point i cut him and his ego off saying 'it's alright, homie. i'm into chicks.'

which really didn't quell his enthusiasm. but anyway, we're smoking and he's going on about how he used to play back up for all the old queens back in the day. and keeps referring to me as a female bodied person. and telling me i've got stars on me? around me?

if i had to describe this man i would say he resembled kramer, from seinfeld. only less funny. but then funny because of that.

weird as he was, boy could he lay it down.

falling farther than off the horse. and RANT.

hello my lovelies. aka wesley - my number one (and dare i say only?) fan.

so yeah, i knew this would happen. start a blog. forget to post. anyway. i'm sorry. a million times over. but with a few months gone by, i've got loads to tell ya!

first off , upcoming things!

Spring into Action: A Discussion of Disability, Art and Advocacy

April 14, 12:30-2:15pm

York University, Accolade West Building

Room ACW 103

Featuring: 

Lindsay Fisher and Jes Sachse - Envisioning New Meanings of Disability and Difference

Nancy Viva Davis Halifax - Critical Disability Studies, York University

Esther Ignagni - School of Disability Studies, Ryerson University

Cheryl Zinyk and Janet Monroe - SOL Express of L'Arche Community

also...

May 2nd - Junction BIA opening! 6pm Dundas West (more deets to come)

May 7th - Come As You Are opening! 7pm @ 701 Queen W

also...

i've done loads of new shoots and still have more to upload. so keep checkin my site for new stuff. put under the folder aptly named 'new stuff!!'. i'm so clever sometimes.

i think thats it for now...unless i'm forgetting something huge. oh! somethings that have happened that were awesome to be a part of would have to be the Hair Project opening (www.thehairproject.ca) and also Eli Clare's visit to Toronto. sharing a stage with one's hero is a bit like drinking a chocolate milkshake in the buff while being nuzzled by baby kitties. mmmmm. oh yes! www.eliclare.com (check out his testimonials page. i'm am most def 'anonymous reader' (...4 comments down). yeah, we're pretty much bff.

i promised you a rant, and i actually have a few. 

the lovely people at contact (www.contactphoto.com) decided that what i wrote about my CAYA exhibit needed some re-vamping: 

The gaze has long defined the depiction of physical disabilities, from Vaudeville to the medical text. Stereotypes exist as flattened notions molded by the viewer. Alleviate is a series of images— some playful, some provocative—that form an unapologetic narrative told from the viewpoint of the subject. Juxtaposing recognizable archetypes with self-representations, this series provides the observer with an invitation to take a fresh look.

a fresh look. reeeeeally. does it now? yes yes. disability like YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE. come one, come all. 

that. is not. what i wrote. here's the original: 

From the Vaudeville to the medical text to the telethon, the image of physical disability has long been defined by 'the gaze'. Race, sexuality, and gender expression all exist as flattened notions molded by the looker - interacting contradictorily with the truth that these ideas are never simple nor static. Alleviate is a series of images; some playful, some provocative; that form an unapologetic narrative told by the subjects. Through the juxtaposition of recognizable archetypes with self representations, this series pervades public and private spaces to provide the observer with an invitation: to look...

hmph. i know i went over the word limit, but come onnnnn now. oh toronto art scene, how i love thee. last year when i was interviewed by Eye Weekly, the bubbly reporter commented on how articulate i was. and how, and i quote, 'disability is so en vogue'. ummm. i WANTED to say: 'ohhh yeah. paralysis is totally the new black'. but i just stammered something about how it was nice to see disabled artists finally getting the attention they deserve...

bah. anyway, so my idea for contact is this: they want fresh? ima show them fresh... (new additions to what i already planned on showing are in the works. i encourage you to check out the show...)

other rant worthy things:

zenfolio has decided that some of my stuff has violated their terms of use. they stipulate as follows: 

I. Prohibited Content
All pornographic material of any kind is prohibited from being displayed on this Web site. Images that contain nudity are allowed only if they exhibit artistic or other social value and are not pornographic as defined by the laws of California and the United States.

so...my 'doctor, doctor' series, and all my self portraits are porn. and do not exhibit artistic or social value. clearly. check it out! CENSORED. 

which is a big thorn in my side. because my shows are coming up. and well feck, i've already paid for a year of hosting. and now what do i do? rub elbows with some porn honchos and find out where they get their hosting? perhaps. this sexual negativity shit is really getting annoying.

balls.

sigh. well i should end on a good note, i reckon. i, jes sachse, promise to keep on 'keepin it real'. its been a trying two weeks. lady drama (as always) and shoots and shows and good brew. thunderheist, weakerthans, mothermother, drag show, the vancouver poetry slam (!!), and just general merriment have made for a march (and now april) to remember. 

now off i go to stick it to the man. errr...artistic elite.

conferences, cramps, and contact

ah yes. my habit of starting projects and forgetting about them is alive and well.

sorry dear blog of mine.

updates!

i just got back from CUQSC, where i gave a presentation on race&gender&ability and 'the gaze'. from old freakshow documentation, to medical texts, to modern art, to erotica and porn. about 50 people came out. which is probably at least double what i expected.

but considering it was the debut of that workshop (entitled '(freaks) getting freaky'...hehe) some great dialogue was had and overall i think it was a success. and one of my lovely participants bought me a tequila shot later in the evening. nothing i love more than great dialogue, new friends, and hard liquor.

a panel discussion took place following the time of my workshop, that thankfully i was able to catch. the topic was queer organizing and the curriculum. one of the panelists was a teacher. and she spoke about current organizing. and the decision to 'come out' in the teaching profession.

i couldn't help but sit back in my chair and think back to my own messy adolescence. not being accomodated in gym class. skipping queer sex...or sex as pleasureful...or disabled people being sexual altogether. queer wasn't even on the menu. let alone the idea that i could be full of agency. and have a hot sex life. fuck the pity here, it's just a waste really. how we teach the perpetuately pussing wound of humanity just to bleed.

beth gives me a bit of hope though. i was happy to bump into her at the loud bar we all gathered in afterwards. scotch in hand, we toasted to the closets of high school and the opportunity to break down just one more barrier at a time.

thankfully i arrived home in one piece. guelph was an excellent host. next year the torch goes to UVic. oh how lovely that would be! however, i already have some traveling comin up soon. on monday i am off to mcmaster to show some of my art (yes...some Contact sneak peaks), and peform in the evening, alongside the lovely Julie Devaney - who i had the pleasure of performing with in July 2007. anyone in the area should definitely come catch the show! there are undoubtedly activities happening all the throughout the day, focused on disability and diversity.

so, as i am typing i am remembering all sorts of dates and such...coming up so soon, so maybe i'll just whip out some bullets...

• much better!
• feb 2nd - diversity day, mcmaster (hamilton): art show and evening performance
• feb 9th - self love week, trent university (peterborough): erotic photography workshop ;)
• feb 19 - envisioning new meanings video launch (will give more details soon), toronto
• feb 26 - peterborough poetry slam: hosting!
• mar 5 - contact fundraiser? (i got a mysterious email about this...no details yet...)
• may 2nd - CONTACT: Junction BIA juried exhibit launch
• may 7th - CONTACT: Come As You Are exhibit opening

man, lists make me realize how much i am actually doing. wowsa.

i will try to keep (at least) this list updated. but for now i think...i have covered everything. yes.

no! cramps. today marks the day i experienced the worst cramps of my life. we're talkin apocalyptic. i did not take pain killers, well because i was at work and had none and am not even menstruating so its not like i could really prepare anyway.

but talk about the war of 1812. in your crotch.

someone needs to declare a ceasefire STAT.

webcomic

so i guess this is one of the biggest projects i'm working on right now. now that deadlines with CONTACT and CUQSC have died down a bit.

komickazie - OCAD's new comic club - intends to put together a project similar to flight 

i've done a number of editorial cartoons for Arthur that i'm relatively pleased with. but i'd really like to start an on-going story. or theme at least? 

now just for the inspiration part...

welcome?

i guess this is where one typically writes a 'welcome to my blog' post. ermmm. but fuck the formalities. here it is, blah blah.

i'm going to use this as a place to do a few things:

• update you on my current/upcoming projects
• post and rant about random news articles i find interesting/outrageous
• post some of my comics (one day i will update more regularly...webcomic? yes?)
• blab about my day/things in my life that are of little consequence
• any other shit i feel inspired to post

but for any of you reading/following, thanks for tuning in. i will try best to earn my keep.